Leah Barr

It has come to my attention, from several comments sent to me, that I need to update this blog. I agree, I’ve been completely swamped lately and it has been neglected. I shall try to be more diligent with this in the future.

So much has happened since the last time I posted. The kids are now out of each respective grade and looking forward to the new school year because they’ll all be going to new schools. We’re moving, starting today, to a very nice part of town with excellent schools and a very low crime rate. We haven’t had anything happen to us crime wise but it’s always nice to move into an area even safer than the one you’re in. Our new place is slightly smaller (the laundry and front closet are infinitely smaller) the kids bedrooms are actually a bit larger than the ones they have so they’ll be happy. I will miss my big bathroom but the new one is very cute.

The kids are sleeping still but will have to be woken shortly since we are taking seven yard bags of clothes and toys to Goodwill this morning. I estimated it was in the neighborhood of seven thousand dollars worth of clothes, since things like junior bridesmaid dresses and unopened packages of socks and underwear (too small when received as gifts for the kids) are in there. I’m really happy. These clothes have been clogging the drawers and taking up all the space for ages. Someone else deserves to enjoy them. There’s even multiple coats and jackets and dress shoes in there. I didn’t go through my shoes but I will for another trip later this week. It feels good to be giving these things away, especially with the economy the way it is. Keeping things you no longer need has started to feel very selfish.

So the pet situation: the dog had to be given back to the  place we adopted her from for numerous reasons. She’d become impossible in an apartment and it wasn’t anyone’s fault. She is a large dog and a lack of a yard as well as close quarters was too much for her. She became destructive and had started biting at faces, no matter what kind of discipline we used. We kept trying to train her and use ideas the trainer gave us but she was just too much. It took my husband 7 months to realize this. I’d known it the moment I looked at the dog, but at least he had those months to enjoy her. I do hope she’ll be adopted soon. Her name is Maya and she is at the PetCo on Pleasant Hill in Duluth, GA on weekends. There are so many dogs and cats that her foster home cares for that all deserve good homes. I hope if any of you are in the area that you’ll take the time to go look.

I’ve been watching the situation in Iran but on twitter as the CNN and other news sources don’t seem to know their arse from their elbow on this. If you haven’t been going to twitter please do.  There are so many pictures and messages from the people there. They are having to try to find proxy servers since the government is trying to stamp down their freedom in every way possible, including internet access. These people are fighting for their right to democracy and although it is scary and people are dying…it’s the way freedom and democracy has always been won. I hope that the people of Iran know how many here in America are watching and hoping with them that the violence, usually brought about by the “police”, ends soon and that they can find peace in their country.

Well, it’s about time to wake the children. I know that I didn’t update you on my book or on a million other things I meant to but for now this is all I have time for. I will try to update again later this week and hopefully then things will be a little less crazy. In the meantime, thank you to everyone who has commented (who wasn’t spam) and please understand that I get a TON of spam so I often don’t get time to actually go through the comments to weed out who is a real person. I’m honestly surprised I have people who read this and happy that you enjoy it. Please feel free to ask questions or prod me when I’ve taken too long to update. In the meantime, have a WONDERFUL Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on where you are and when you read it.

I’ve been working on my novel quite a bit lately. The story is having some hiccups but all in all it’s turning out quite well. Matt has been working on his as well and his writing is always wonderful.

We took the kids to Disney World last month. For any of you who have read earlier in the blog, I had mentioned a big surprise. That was it. They only found out about it the night before we went. They were ecstatic, the blonde kid even screamed. We had a marvelous time in the Magic Kingdom (although I could have sworn my feet were going to fall off) and then hung out with the short one’s grandparents the next day at Disney Hollywood Studios. A fantastic time was had by all. I have, somehow, lost an entire outfit of clothes. Jeans, shirt, bra…all missing. I’m wondering if I left it in a hotel. I can’t imagine I’d have not noticed them but they are not here so I have no idea.

My crazy, sweet, violent, black cat has been extremely put out with me lately. I haven’t been napping with her and she gets rather annoyed. I can tell because when she sees me (if I walk into the bedroom for anything) she gives me the stink eye and then swings her huge puffy tail around violently. On occasion the violent tail swinging results in Maggie hitting herself in the face. You have to stifle laughter in front of her, however, or she waits until you’re not looking and bites your ankle. It’s special.

Speaking of special, Maya (the dog) is driving me nuts. She is a very active dog and is going to be getting trained shortly. I cannot stand that she is so…what’s the word…orally fixated. She tries to eat the short kids hair and is constantly trying to eat my fingers, feet, legs…really anything she can get her mouth around or tongue on. I know most of you don’t know me that well so I’ll clarify for you…I don’t like being nosed (having a wet nose put on me, even my clothing) or licked. I am not a dog person. It isn’t that I dislike dogs, and they all LOVE me, it’s just that I like having my own space and every dog we’ve had doesn’t give me that. I think that’s why I prefer cats. Although Maggie wants me to nap with her she isn’t out here with her mouth, tongue or body all over me while I type. She will just ignore me for a few hours after she gets up, assured in her feline knowledge that her absence is punishment enough.

So my birthday is a week from tomorrow. I do not celebrate but I do look forward to it. I will be 29. I know, you’re wanting to know how many times I’ve been 29. Well, I’ve never been 29 before and when I turn 30 I’ll be proud to admit that too. I’m one of the few people who sees age as an accomplishment. I can’t wait to be 30, 40, 50. I think that each year is a triumph in that you did not become a statistic. I have survived for almost 29 years, sometimes by force of will alone, and I’m looking forward to each year that comes. It doesn’t hurt that I have a baby face, though. I can imagine that if I were aging prematurely or had lines of really any sort on my face that I’d be more horrified by the passage of time…but I don’t know. I think that laugh lines and crows feet can add character to a face. Just not mine right now.

I saw Twilight on Friday night. I was disappointed that one of my favorite exchanges between Bella and Edward had been butchered (superhero reference) but other than that I was pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed Kristin Stewart as Bella and Rob Pattinson can bite up my pillows, break my headboard and bruise me up anytime…so long as he’s Edward when he does it. There were things I understood needed to be changed and things that made sense for a movie but would have ruined the book. I think it was well done and kudos to Stephanie Meyer for her cameo in the diner. I’ll do a full review later.

I like Rufus Sewell. I’ve seen him in various movies (he was insanely good in Cold Comfort Farm) and was surprised to see him doing a television show. He’s in a new science fiction show called, Eleventh Hour. I haven’t seen it, it could be utter crap…but his interview with Wired is great. Here’s a short exchange that made me giggle.

Wired.com: The performance in Eleventh Hour seems kind of reined in, compared to other things you’ve done.

Sewell: You mean The Illusionist where I’m playing a deranged psychopath who kills himself?

Wired.com: But you did it so effectively.

I love my new phone. It’s a beautiful concoction that allows me to call everyone and mess around online as much as I want. I love it!

I got a new, blue, LG Chocolate3. I didn’t like the original chocolates (or the second generation) as I thought they were fairly ugly and clunky. I love mine though, it’s so exactly what I wanted.

So the kids are done with their homework and have harassed the dog into a frenzy so she should sleep well tonight. That dog drives me nuts. I wish she’d just leave me alone but no, I’m apparently exactly the kind of snack she’s looking for. I think I’ve been licked to death.

Do you ever have one of those days where everything seems hectic, for no apparent reason? I feel like I’ve got a million things I need to get done but other than dinner (spaghetti) I really have nothing pressing. I just am seriously feeling stressed. Must be because I have so much happening soon.

So I’m on the lookout for my next phone. Yes, I know, I have an LG enV but…I don’t like it. I’ve never liked it.

It has a full keyboard and that is a cool thing when you’re able to sit down at type but I spend most of my time typing while I’m grocery shopping, walking around and not at the computer or driving. I know, but I actually can text message without looking at my phone and make a decent amount of sense. At least I can when I’m using the regular number pad instead of the full keyboard. Trying to type with the full keyboard when walking is a pain in the butt and completely unsafe while driving. It’s cool for internet stuff though. I don’t know. I just really don’t like the phone.

Matt was being very kind and thoughtful when he suggested I get it and his reasons were valid, I just think it’s a better phone for him maybe (if he didn’t already have a Centro). It’s hard to really know what kind of phone will appeal to someone else. He had a Q forever and I thought it was ugly as sin. I had two different razrs and he didn’t like those but I thought they were adorable and did everything I really needed at the time.

I work from home/wherever I am so I need to have a phone that will allow me to work when I’m not home, which will let me keep in touch with whomever I need to and will let me access everything I need to.  It’s just that the phones that do that are…not attractive. I’m not going to become part of the blackberry horde and I certainly don’t want to have to fight with my phone to make a call…so where does that leave me?

Do I get a phone that is pretty but doesn’t have all the functionality I want or should I go ahead and get an ugly phone that does more than I need and that I slowly grow to hate? I know, how pretty the phone is shouldn’t come into the equation but it’s something I’ll essentially have with me all the time. I don’t care what other people think, at all, but I want to find my phone pretty/attractive/aesthetically pleasing.

Do I just wait until the next set of phones come out and see if I can find something I like better? Is there anything coming out that will combine attractiveness with functionality? Why am I worrying about this?

Ah well, I’ll figure it out eventually.

In the meantime I’m watching my kids fight with Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. They are enjoying it immensely. The small one is having a problem as she is not winning much but the older ones are being really good sports.

Maggie is having a spaz attack since I put a second tag on her collar. She jingles and she can’t get away from it.

Our dog had to be put down on Tuesday, he had dementia and had started to slide further downhill. It was a devastating loss for us all and many tears were shed. We miss Hunter terribly and no other pet will ever take his place.

Matt is doing really well, managed to fight off whatever stomach buggy type thing we had a couple weeks ago and is napping a lot lately but mostly because there’s been some late nights lately.

We have a kid free weekend coming up as of tomorrow night but we might have my sister and her husband staying with us.

I hear complaints from quite a few women about how difficult it is to get promoted. The glass ceiling is something that has often held women down and has only been shattered by a select few. The morals on why that is, and whether or not it should be so, are something I am not going to get into here. I am, however, wondering about the dusty glass ceiling available to stay at home moms.

Stay At Home Mom…it’s a crap title. It says nothing about the constant errands to be run, the household issues that are settled immediately (instead of procrastinated on and worsened because time isn’t there), even discipline and organization are overlooked.

Worse than being a SAHM is being a Mom who WORKS FROM HOME. Now, you may ask, how is that worse? When you work from home can’t you just do things when you want? Don’t you just sit on your butt and watch tv and then pretend to work? What I say to those people is….ppppppppfffffffffttttttttt

I own my own business and it is BOOMING right now. I am not complaining, but it does make it more difficult to be as active in other things as I’d like. I try to make sure the kids are not just sitting around playing video games all summer. In fact, the oldest kid is FLYING through books this summer. I’m so glad he’s found a love of reading. The middle kid has to be FORCED to read, but someday she’ll realize how great it is. The short one loves to read but, since she’s just now going into 2nd grade, is somewhat limited on her reading choices.

People assume I can just hang out, that I don’t have to schedule everything and that we just have fun. I wish that was true. Every single little thing has to be scheduled. Which order the kids take showers and even what time they eat their meals has to be planned in advance. It is a little overwhelming at times, but it makes for a much more relaxed household (oddly enough). The kids know that they have to have breakfast by 9:30 or have to wait for lunch (which is between 12 and 12:30) and they don’t complain when they wake up late. They have to have their beds made and rooms picked up (and get dressed and brush their hair) before they play any games, watch any tv or do any reading. It takes them each a grand total of, at most, five minutes and then their rooms are good for most of the day. On Mondays we do heavy cleaning, scouring bathrooms and wiping down the mirrors in the dining room…the stuff you don’t do every day. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have aquatherapy so they get to hang out on the bleachers at the pool and play games or read. On Wednesdays we go to the water park after lunch with their Dad (or Stepdad, respectively) and on Fridays we go to places we don’t normally get to. Today was the Yellow River Game Ranch, next week and the week after will be the Coke Museum and the High Museum of Art. Weekends are spent with Matt and we tend to go garage saling on Saturday afternoons if I’m up for it. Sundays are lazy days and everyone sleeps in. Since I have church on Saturdays (as well as Tuesdays and Thursdays) it’s nice to have that day to snuggle up and spend the morning with my husband.

It’s a busy life. In between all that I clean, cook, do some laundry (my wonderful husband helps out with that too) and make sure the kids aren’t killing each other…oh, and I work.

Matt is in Ohio for one night. He has to be there for an appointment in the morning and we felt it was better for him to be there early than risk a morning flight being late. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand him being gone all night. It feels like an eternity before he’ll be home.

So for tonight I’m going to be stretching out across the entire bed except for the ever increasing space the cat takes up. I should be happy that I have the evening to hang out and maybe do any of the things I used to do when I was single. Computer games and reading until all hours of the morning, oooh or I could go to bed early. That sounds better than I expected. Sleeeeeeeep.

Anyway, I can’t wait until my honey comes home tomorrow evening. In the meantime the kids have managed to forget all about making their beds or picking up their rooms in the wake of us getting a Wii. Oh how electronics make their brains mush.

I miss my honey.

Me: Would you want me to sing at your funeral?

Matt: No, I want you to go first.

As much as that sounds callous he wants me to go first so that I don’t have to deal with living without him, knowing that he’d rather be the one in pain than having me in pain…I think it was really funny.

I got back in touch with some old friends today. It was good to hear about their lives and all the stuff they’re doing. I find myself completely cut off sometimes, so much so that Saturday night, when I went to a small party at a friends house, I managed to learn all kinds of developments. Some people had lost weight, some had gained, some had cut their hair (me included) and some had grown it out. Some had started new relationships, were progressing in their relationships or had ended it. It was like being thrown into a reunion and, honestly, I realized how much I’ve missed all of them. They’re great people and so generous and caring. I couldn’t ask for better friends. That and Apples to Apples is a kick butt game.

So today was a bit of a loss. I got things done but only under the surface, nothing big. We’d been moving furniture around all weekend to change around the rooms. Once I’m done I’ll post pictures. The place is looking great. Today was fighting with the ever growing paper monster and figuring what our next steps were (and not lifting anything because my back was ticked off from the even minor lifting I’d done this weekend).  

Do you ever look back at the past and realize that the answers to things you didn’t understand are so much clearer now? I mean the reason I left jobs or relationships now seems so much more understandable and sometimes…weren’t very good reasons for the change at all. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy and all my mistakes and weird choices have led me to being married to a wonderful man and having three great kids who keep me on my toes. Add in the lame (literally) dog and mentally disturbed cat and it makes for one fun household. I don’t know that I’d change anything, except maybe the cat litter. Have to do that in the next day or so. What I mean is that I realize how childish I was at times, even in the relationship I’m in now. I’ve said and done things that were so stupid and yet he loves me enough to let it all go and just be calm. I love my taciturn man.

This is one of those moments I feel like we should discuss what we’ve learned today but I think I summed it up. The cat needs her litter changed and Apples to Apples is a great party game when you’ve had a couple drinks and of course muscle relaxers and pain killers are necessary if I lift anything more than about six pounds. Go back and neck injuries!

Well, I’m done rambling. I know you’re relieved.

Stay out of trouble.

My wonderful husband woke me with a phone call this morning as my alarm clock (aka cell phone) was dead and in another room. Just like me to not have noticed that. It was great to hear his voice. He’d forgotten his cell phone (do you sense the pattern too?) so he called me from work.

There are moments in time that seem to run together, disappearing before you even realize they are happening. And then there are moments that hang in the air like a dust particle caught in a sunbeam, twisting and dancing before your eyes and feeling as if they could last forever. Sometimes I wish the moments with the kids were always the latter but so many of the former happen that at times I feel they are growing and changing right before my eyes. I am not complaining, I’m blessed enough to have them with us the majority of the time and to help them with their homework and know that when things bother them they know they can come to me.

 Matt came home from work for lunch and I had lunch ready for him. I’d changed out the days in his Franklin Covey organizer and packed him his mp3 player, cell phone and headphones in it. I’d also put in a week at a glance bookmarky thing that told him that in his role as Husband/Father his only work to do was “Be loved”. He also said he needed WD40 and tissues so I had those next to his organizer. Sometimes I just wish I was more imaginative in things I can do for him. I sometimes show up at his office with candies he likes and fill up the little jars I bought him. I get him movies he wants on the day they come out and have them under his pillow and I try to surprise him with little things but I feel a little lame, like there’s a much better way to do it. I do something similar for the kids, surprising them with things for dessert or dinner and sometimes having presents for them in hidden places that they come across once they get a hint. Matt and I have a HUGE surprise for them later this year but I’m not giving any hints here. Suffice it to say, all three of them are going to be so excited they might never stop grinning again.

 Maggie is giving me the “turn off the computer and pet me” look so I should probably go before she starts gnawing on my hands.