We Should Have Eaten The Kids
Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
When you are dating, and have been married or been in a long relationship before, you tend to have certain expectations that must be met or you tend to show the guy the door. I had very strange expectations, limits, rules and sometimes I think I must be the most amazingly blessed woman on the planet because my honey managed to keep from violating any of those.
Rule 1. Shower daily (at least)
Rule 2. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom (I don’t care that you’re a guy, just do it)
Rule 3. Understand English humor (that’s right, BBC it up until you actually get the jokes and try not to look blank when I make a joke about Americans)
Rule 4. Have some kind of concept of pop culture when I was a child (this will be revisited later but means I want you to know what Fraggle Rock and Saved by the Bell is, even if you didn’t watch it)
Rule 5. You cannot be a huge Jason Mraz fan, or a boyband fan (you can like one song but if I hear you singing along to a cd I will have to declare you the girliest man I’ve ever met)
Rule 6. Orange Juice is the nectar of the Gods (any attempts to replace my orange juice with grapefruit will mean instant death)
Rule 7. Star Wars and Star Trek are two very different things (if you don’t know that you shouldn’t count yourself as a male of the species anyway)
Rule 8. Be ready to read. (Being a friend, and especially a boyfriend/fiancé/husband of mine means you’ll be doing a lot of reading)
Rule 9. I’m right
Rule 10. Know what Oregon Trail is*
There are several more rules that can be bent but the previous ten are pretty strident. Thankfully I’m married to man who occasionally gets a weird look on his face and yells “KHAAAAAAAAAN”, which really brightens my day. He also has a healthy concept of when I’m right (usually) and when he’s wrong (rarely, these two things are not mutually exclusive). He watches BBC with me, always has orange juice made and kicks my butt at 80’s and 90’s trivial pursuit. I adore my husband.
*Oregon Trail is a game I used to play in elementary school (go 1980’s computers). I have rarely, if ever, managed to get my peoples wagon train from the east all the way to Oregon and have never done it without anyone in the party dying. In fact I became so good at killing off my people that I started trying to make up funny epitaphs. Years later I was playing a newer version at my Grandparent’s house and managed to kill off the entire party. I proceeded to write “We Should Have Eaten The Kids”, which I found amusing but horrified my Grandma enough that she forced me to watch a movie about the Donner Party. Always weird to see the Mom from Growing Pains in a period piece.
When you are dating, and have been married or been in a long relationship before, you tend to have certain expectations that must be met or you tend to show the guy the door. I had very strange expectations, limits, rules and sometimes I think I must be the most amazingly blessed woman on the planet because my honey managed to keep from violating any of those.
Rule 1. Shower daily (at least)
Rule 2. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom (I don’t care that you’re a guy, just do it)
Rule 3. Understand English humor (that’s right, BBC it up until you actually get the jokes and try not to look blank when I make a joke about Americans)
Rule 4. Have some kind of concept of pop culture when I was a child (this will be revisited later but means I want you to know what Fraggle Rock and Saved by the Bell is, even if you didn’t watch it)
Rule 5. You cannot be a huge Jason Mraz fan, or a boyband fan (you can like one song but if I hear you singing along to a cd I will have to declare you the girliest man I’ve ever met)
Rule 6. Orange Juice is the nectar of the Gods (any attempts to replace my orange juice with grapefruit will mean instant death)
Rule 7. Star Wars and Star Trek are two very different things (if you don’t know that you shouldn’t count yourself as a male of the species anyway)
Rule 8. Be ready to read. (Being a friend, and especially a boyfriend/fiancé/husband of mine means you’ll be doing a lot of reading)
Rule 9. I’m right
Rule 10. Know what Oregon Trail is*
There are several more rules that can be bent but the previous ten are pretty strident. Thankfully I’m married to man who occasionally gets a weird look on his face and yells “KHAAAAAAAAAN”, which really brightens my day. He also has a healthy concept of when I’m right (usually) and when he’s wrong (rarely, these two things are not mutually exclusive). He watches BBC with me, always has orange juice made and kicks my butt at 80’s and 90’s trivial pursuit. I adore my husband.
*Oregon Trail is a game I used to play in elementary school (go 1980’s computers). I have rarely, if ever, managed to get my peoples wagon train from the east all the way to Oregon and have never done it without anyone in the party dying. In fact I became so good at killing off my people that I started trying to make up funny epitaphs. Years later I was playing a newer version at my Grandparent’s house and managed to kill off the entire party. I proceeded to write “We Should Have Eaten The Kids”, which I found amusing but horrified my Grandma enough that she forced me to watch a movie about the Donner Party. Always weird to see the Mom from Growing Pains in a period piece.