Leah Barr

My wonderful husband woke me with a phone call this morning as my alarm clock (aka cell phone) was dead and in another room. Just like me to not have noticed that. It was great to hear his voice. He’d forgotten his cell phone (do you sense the pattern too?) so he called me from work.

There are moments in time that seem to run together, disappearing before you even realize they are happening. And then there are moments that hang in the air like a dust particle caught in a sunbeam, twisting and dancing before your eyes and feeling as if they could last forever. Sometimes I wish the moments with the kids were always the latter but so many of the former happen that at times I feel they are growing and changing right before my eyes. I am not complaining, I’m blessed enough to have them with us the majority of the time and to help them with their homework and know that when things bother them they know they can come to me.

 Matt came home from work for lunch and I had lunch ready for him. I’d changed out the days in his Franklin Covey organizer and packed him his mp3 player, cell phone and headphones in it. I’d also put in a week at a glance bookmarky thing that told him that in his role as Husband/Father his only work to do was “Be loved”. He also said he needed WD40 and tissues so I had those next to his organizer. Sometimes I just wish I was more imaginative in things I can do for him. I sometimes show up at his office with candies he likes and fill up the little jars I bought him. I get him movies he wants on the day they come out and have them under his pillow and I try to surprise him with little things but I feel a little lame, like there’s a much better way to do it. I do something similar for the kids, surprising them with things for dessert or dinner and sometimes having presents for them in hidden places that they come across once they get a hint. Matt and I have a HUGE surprise for them later this year but I’m not giving any hints here. Suffice it to say, all three of them are going to be so excited they might never stop grinning again.

 Maggie is giving me the “turn off the computer and pet me” look so I should probably go before she starts gnawing on my hands.

This week is flying by. I’ve had a lot of work to get done for my Vegas clients and the kids have had a ton of homework. I know that CRCTs are coming up but so is Spring Break. These poor kids can’t think straight for how much they want to go outside. I can’t blame them. I’ve got a bit of cabin fever myself. I type and type the day away with the porch door open and a cat whining for me on the porch.

Blonde girl had a friend over to work on their science fair project. It seems to be going alright, we’re doing a presentation on the rainforest. I say we because guess who has to go make all the copies and type it all up. Good times.

So I should probably be starting on dinner but I have no earthly idea of when Matt is coming home. He has no earthly idea I have a bottle of champagne in the fridge waiting for our celebration tonight. The kids have no earthly idea of where the boy’s DS games went. We’re all frickin clueless.

Ah well, such is life. I heard from an old friend today. It was great to hear from him and hear how things are doing on the other side of the Atlantic. He’s a really nice guy and I know he’s going through some stuff but I hope it gets better for him soon. In the meantime he’ll have a friend to talk to.

Ok, enough rambling. Time for me to get off my bum and get something cooking.

Sunday morning was, thankfully, rather relaxed. I didn’t have to check out until noon but Amy and Rob, who were taking me to the airport, had to check out by 11. At ten thirty I took all my stuff and had some breakfast and checked out. I could wax rhapsodic about how hotels used to have better foods but instead I’m going to make a very important statement: Florida has the worst coffee. Amy and Rob say it’s because no one there drinks coffee and they don’t know how to make it. I was acutely aware that the person who made mine hadn’t ever had coffee before or was blind/had no sense of smell/not paying attention. It was horrid and I didn’t drink it.

The drive to the airport was uneventful and I settled into a seat and started reading. I have my bouquet still and at the time I had taken an empty gatorade bottle (see the post about Friday) and rinsed it out and filled it with water and put my bouquet in it. It got me a LOT of looks. I was asked repeatedly if I was the bride and had more than one person tell me that it was smart to have saved it that way. I was rather proud of myself as well.

So I’m in the airport with a purse and flowers in a gatorade bottle and I realize every time I look up that I’m being watched. Everyone and their cousin was looking at me and smiling and it was with very little surprise that the people I sat with on the plane wanted to know what was up. They said they’d thought I was the bride but since no young man ever joined me they realized I wasn’t going on a honeymoon by myself, so I had to be a bridesmaid. I assured them I was and the conversation wandered, as it often does, and they told me about their son who played the tribal leader in Disney’s Lion King at WDW and now is in Japan in the Blues Brothers show. They were very nice people and absolutely charming to talk to.

I made it back to the airport and picked up my luggage (and the kids luggage from their failed attempt to go to Ohio) and found my way to my car and drove home, just glad I was back home in Atlanta. I was completely and in all ways more exhausted than I have felt in a very long time. I got home and had to lay down and Matt was a total sweetheart and snuggled with me and we read (and I think did a crossword puzzle). The short one came home that evening and seeing Matt and the kids and hugging them all was the perfect end to a crazy weekend.

Yes, I know, the ending is sappy. I slept like the dead that night.

Saturday morning dawned bright and early for people who didn’t have their blackout drapes closed, and it’s very sad for them. I didn’t move a muscle out of bed until 10am, after the previous nights craziness. I got up and got my things together and walked (in my heels, needed to practice in those so I didn’t kill myself during the wedding…I haven’t worn those kinds of heels in years) next door to the hotel the brides parents were staying in. I got there early and Alic, the brides mom, and I talked for a while. She and her husband are absolutely charming and it was great getting to talk to her about random stuff.

The lady who did our makeup and hair arrived after the girls got there and we all started getting ready. Victoria and I had the same hairdos (per the bride) and we all looked fantastic when we were done. I helped the brides mom into her corset and then her dress and then we were off to the venue, dresses and bags in tow. The towncar that picked us up was very nice and the driver was quite helpful, which is always good when you’re carrying a dress, corset, petticoats and the million and one other things you somehow need while getting ready.

The country club was generous enough to let us use their dressing rooms to get ready. The womens one was very nice and comfortable but the mens dressing room was HUGE. It was at least three time the size of ours. All us girls got into our dresses then helped dress the bride. Leona glowed all day, she was an absolutely gorgeous bride. I had to be steamed in my dress, which sounds somewhat more shellfish like than it was. It had gotten…wrinkled…on the flight and so the grooms mom, Darlene, steamed me. It made things a bit warm for most of the evening. The layers and layers and layers of clothing tend to insulate.

I went into the mens dressing room (AFTER everyone was dressed) and helped them calm down and had them wipe any sweat off their faces and remind them that it was all ok and that everyone was going to be alright. Rick and I have been close for years and it was so amazingly sweet to see him all nervous and anxious. He’s always been like a brother and it made me almost cry (thankfully I was only too well aware of my makeup). And then it was time.

It seemed like we waited forever in that room before we were suddenly being ushered to a door and set up to walk. The wind was blowing too hard for me to hear if the music was playing that I was supposed to walk to and when I was assured it was I set off. Now walking in heels, especially the kind I was wearing, can be daunting. When you’re walking in heels up a slope of a cobblestoned type of ground and then supposed to walk down a grass aisle to the front it’s almost horrifying. All I could think, over and over, was, “Don’t trip. Don’t trip. SMILE. Don’t trip. SMILE. Don’t let your heels slide into the grass…SMILE”. It was amusing afterwards. I made it down the aisle without looking like an idiot and then when the flower girl came down she decided she didn’t want to stand where she was supposed to so she stood by me. I had to hold Leona’s bouquet because Victoria was supposed to read something. This all seemed ok until I was handed Victoria’s bouquet as well and had to hold up the arbor (which the wind was doing its best to make fall over on the bride and groom) and hold onto the flower girl who had decided she was bored…and four…a scary combination. We made it through the ceremony without a hitch and then were escorted back down the aisle.

Justin and I were the last to head back down the aisle and we just…kept…walking. I finally said quietly, “where are we going?” and when he replied that he didn’t know I said, “well we better get there quick before my feet fall off” which got him chuckling. We took more pictures out in the grass and the staff was sweet enough to bring us water and hors d’oeuvres while we waited to finish up. With a Leo, Leona and me, Leah, it got confusing sometimes as to who was supposed to be in the picture. Once we were done it was time to head inside to the real party.

We were all introduced to the guests and sent to our tables. It was a beautiful room and a wonderful meal. I had started to have a dizzy spell while outside and it continued through part of dinner. I tried to hide it but Rob, who was sitting across from me, noticed and kept an eye on me. I managed to make it outside and cool down in the wind and once I’d done that I felt better. Heat makes me ill rather easily and I didn’t want to feel that way or draw attention to myself. We watched the first dance and then ate, followed by the parent dance. Once that had ended we all danced and danced and danced until our feet should have fallen off.

I’d been barefooted for a while by the time I started dancing and at one point the flower girl noticed and came over to show me that she, too, was barefooted. We danced to almost everything (the wedding party was somehow absent from the electric slide) and I was really happy I’d thought ahead and taken some pain killers. We danced on and on and if I wasn’t dancing with anyone when I started I was within thirty seconds. It was fantastic and the only cloud over the evening was that Matt couldn’t be there. I missed him terribly (and of course the children too) and several times would sigh softly as I thought of him, wishing he was the one I was dancing with. I won’t claim that I didn’t enjoy myself, but it was tinged with a bit of longing for my honey.

We finally finished the dancing and most of the people there had imbibed a bit (I’d only had a drink and a half) so it was fun corralling them into the vans that took us back to our hotels. The bride and groom thought of everything. We got back to our hotels and Amy helped me out of my dress and corset and then I was by myself in my hotel room again. I almost wish I’d had a roommate, even if it would have meant not getting that king size bed to myself and instead having only a double to myself. I won’t complain, however, because I did manage to sleep very well after a nice call to Matt and a very long shower. *

I think I fell asleep before midnight and from then on I was completely unconscious and again slept the sleep of the truly exhausted.

Sunday was a whole new adventure that I’ll write about later.

*It took three shampooings to get the product out of my hair and I had to wash my face four times to get the makeup off. At one point I wasn’t sure I’d ever get out of that shower.

I spent this past weekend at a wedding. I say the weekend because from the moment I got off the plane around 9:30 the morning before the wedding until about 5:00 in the evening the day after the wedding I was on the go.

Friday:    I woke up at 4:30am so I could be out the door and to the airport before my early flight. I hadn’t been able to sleep because I was so worried I’d sleep in and be late. Three hours of sleep and no caffeine made me a bit on the grumpy side. I got off the plane and got my bags and then the groom and best man picked me up. From that moment on, we were ON THE GO.

We got to miniature golf only a few minutes before everyone else and proceeded to play 18 holes. It was a lot of fun and there is probably video of me calling my ball names, but I actually did rather well. I don’t think I won, but I probably came in somewhere around fourth in a group of eight…so I won’t complain. I met everyone in the party except the person who was to escort me back down the aisle. He had to work.

Once we’d all humiliated ourselves with our putters it was a winding trip to a nice Japanese place with some interesting service. The food was wonderful but the most interesting part was watching two people in their mid thirties-early forties making out in the parking lot while we ate.

With some real food in our stomaches we checked into our hotels and had about an hour of down time (which I spent vegging in front of the tv and then getting ready) before we had to be at the rehearsal. I’ll say this for Rick and Leona and their families…they have wonderful taste. The wedding location was this absolutely gorgeous country club and the view from where we were going to be standing was perfect. Everyone goofed around during the rehearsal and Rick was driving Leona nuts but in the way he does EVERY DAY.

The rehearsal wrapped up and we headed off to the rehearsal dinner, in a castle. The rehearsal dinner was fantastic and the whole group was in high spirits. We all received gifts, us girls got jewelry and purses to match our dresses. The guys got…lightsabers. It was fantastic. There were lots of speeches, including one I did to try to offset a rather inappropriate one, and I don’t think there was another room in the entire city of Orlando that could have been more full of love than that room. It was great to hear Rick say wonderful things about his Mom and StepDad and his new In-Laws. He’s such a great guy, even if he tries to act like a jerk to hide it.

After the rehearsal dinner we went to a place called Tu Tu Tango, which was insane. People were dancing, amazing pieces of art all over the walls and a sculptor who was making things with kids. The bathroom had stuff written all over the walls and ceiling and doors and toilet lids and toilet paper dispensers. They even left pens in the bathrooms so you could write something. I wrote, “I miss my husband”, and then tried to look happy because I got swamped to have my picture taken between the toilet and the sink. I’ve had more pictures taken of me this weekend than ever before.

Once Amy, Rob and I left the second rehearsal dinner we headed back to our hotel rooms and I stayed up for a while to make sure Matt had gotten the kids from the airport (there were tornadoes in Atlanta that night and they were on a plane that couldn’t take off) and once I knew they were ok I drifted off and slept the sleep of the truly exhausted.

I’ll continue with Saturday and Sunday in further posts.

It seems like there is a distinct lack of this commodity today. I watch parents lying to their kids, employers lying to employees and politicians who…probably believe their own lies at this point. I start to wonder, would any of these people recognize the truth if it were in front of them?

The truth is that life isn’t always pretty. No matter how lofty our goals the journey there does not often go according to any plan.  What truly scares me is when people start to believe the lies they tell themselves and others. It’s so easy to do, but once you start lying you can’t seem to stop. The worst part of it is when other people, especially children, are the ones being lied to. I promised myself that I wouldn’t do that, that I would make an effort to be honest even when it doesn’t put me in a good light, and I think for the most part I’ve succeeded. Matt has been great about it too, even when the truth is something that hurts to discuss. It’s not easy admitting faults and defeats, especially to others, but it has helped me realize that although I like to think I have control over my life, sometimes things happen and admitting that is much easier than living with a lie.

Our kids have lied, like kids do, but now they’re being much more open and honest with us. Sometimes what they say isn’t what we’d like to hear, but it makes me feel good that they’re telling us how they really feel. I think it’s helped all of us become closer and has definitely allowed for us to correct some misconceptions that kids tend to have.  I just wish, sometimes, that everyone in their lives would do like we are. It’s hard to make sure teachers and grandparents and other parents are all on the same page. Hopefully they’ll realize that kids know the truth or know something worse than the truth (their imaginations are special) and just being honest is the best way to be.

I did my time. I did long division and story problems. I was in math club, spelling bees, advanced reading programs, the space program (5th grade, I saw an astronaut speak at The Broadmoor) and any other number of advanced and afterschool programs to expand and strengthen the mind. So why is it now that every day after 3 I’m forced to do 1st, 3rd and 7th grade math, language arts (why can’t they call it English anymore?), science, social studies and good old fashioned spelling? It’s like being punished for having smart kids. Stinking homework.

The hard part of homework isn’t the homework itself, that would make too much sense. The hard part is that teachers are not always effective in explaining things to children, who then come home and are absolutely certain that it’s either too hard for them or that I don’t know what I’m talking about when I try to help. I’m sure it’s no picnic on the other end either. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for parents who can’t be there with their kids after school and wouldn’t know the first thing to say or do in order to help them and how much harder that makes it for the teachers. There are a lot of immigrants here from many different countries who, unfortunately, probably didn’t have the education their children are getting. I’m glad they’re making sure their children are receiving it.

I grew up in Colorado Springs and since it has Peterson AFB, Fort Carson, NORAD and the AF Academy you tend to meet people from all walks of life. I went to school with kids who had German or Korean moms (or dads) and kids who had lived in Germany for years before their parent(s) was stationed in Colorado. I had friends who had lived all over the country, friends who had lived in other countries and some friends who spoke other languages at home but English at school. I don’t think I could have had a more diverse group of kids around me and it was a fantastic thing to experience as a child. I hope our spawn are learning the lesson I know I certainly did. It doesn’t matter what color skin is or where the person is from, all that matters is who the person is on the inside. I know, it’s all flowery and crap but it’s also true. It makes me happy to see that the kids have friends who are not all exactly like them physically. I’m hoping that this time here is helping them discover that we’re all people and we all deserve to be treated equally.

It’s not a lesson one can just say, it’s something that the kids have to learn by seeing how parents interact with people of all different backgrounds. Prejudice isn’t something that you’re born with, you learn it. My family and I, to this day, have friends from all walks of life and I hope that the example their Dad and I give all three of these kids will help them to do the same when they get older as well.

It seems as though this year there is wedding fever among my friends and family. My little sister got married this month and now a friend of mine is getting married next month. I’m in the wedding next month so I had to go buy a dress and a specific bra and undergown skirt thingy. It looks fantastic on, the dress is truly beautiful, but holy crap that’s a lot of hooks and zippers. It’s like strapping into armor, I feel mildly invincible. Matt really liked it too, he said I looked fantastic in the gown. Almost as pretty as I did in the black one I wore to the party we went to, but then that dress is, I believe, his very favorite dress ever.

It’s kid free this weekend.  Matt and I need to take some time and just enjoy each other. I’m hoping we are able to go to that pub in Decatur. It had fantastic food and beer and was so much fun. That and there is the cutest little bookshop/soda shop on square as well. Of course I’ll have to be feeling better than I have been…but then isn’t that always the case?

The kids all had their checkups and are all still human and rather healthy. I was really proud of the boy for not screaming or crying or anything when he got his two shots. He was such a trooper. The girls were easier since they were caught up with their immunizations. I’m just glad to know they’re all doing alright.

Well, it’s off to the kitchen to start up dinner. I think I’ll do ham and au gratin potatoes and maybe a vegetable medley. They’ll all like that.

Is it just me or has everyone on the continent gotten ill? I was speaking with a friend in Canada the other day and people are getting sick up there too. And it’s not just a cold and it doesn’t go away. I’ve been fighting something for almost two months. Of course being asthmatic doesn’t help, but come ON. I am so sick of being under the weather. At least I know it’s nothing fatal, just incredibly annoying.

I’m just glad the kids haven’t caught it. They’ve gotten the normal cold type things but Matt and I have both been sick as dogs off and on over the last few months. I guess that’s just the chance you have to take when married and affectionate, we keep giving each other the plague. I know he was never an affectionate person before but he’s become much more affectionate with me since we got together and he’s the obvious choice for hero to the kids. I didnt think I could love him more than the day I married him, but every day proves me wrong. I couldn’t be more blessed.

Speaking of the evil spawn, shortness has her checkup this evening and blondie and the boy have one tomorrow. Now we get to figure out just how tall they’ve gotten (not that having grown out of all their jeans in the last few months hasn’t been a sign). They grow like weeds, them three. Of course the cat wants to be in on that as well. She’s huge compared to when we got her a few months ago. It’s just one big growth spurt here. Even Matt has put on quite a bit of weight. He’s 1.2 lbs from his goal. I’m so proud of him and he looks fantastic. He’s got color in his cheeks and a smile on his face and I’ve never heard a man hum and sing as he does everything as much as Matt. It makes me very happy that he’s happy.

Strategery. Lock Box. Sorry, that still makes me laugh.

 Because of my religious beliefs I have never had any part in political happenings. I am neutral and have no preference for candidate, party or even nationality. I say this because the following may sound like I have a problem with a particular Presidential candidate and I do not. I simply find the following amusing.

I read and have heard that Sen. McCain (sp?) has essentially said that a vote for him is a vote for war with Iran. Now, I dont know about everyone else, but I’ve always assumed that threatening other countries was NOT the best way to start foreign policy. Is the world falling apart and we just cannot grasp that because of our decadence? Did I miss the memo where I’m supposed to hate other people? Can I continue missing that memo?

I’m waiting and watching and trying not to laugh as I keep picturing McCain being sworn in and immediately turning to the American people and asking for his dice. I know he gets five men at the beginning of every turn but you’re only supposed to attack one other country at a time man, one at a time.